What is one way to revise for word choice? answers.com
Chapter 17 Word Choice
Everyone's a Wordsmith
If you are going to write for either personal or professional person reasons, you lot should carefully choose your words. Brand sure your words say what y'all mean by controlling wordiness, using appropriate language, choosing precise diction, and using a dictionary or thesaurus effectively.
17.1 Controlling Wordiness and Writing Concisely
Learning Objectives
- Recognize and eliminate repetitive ideas.
- Recognize and remove unneeded repeated words.
- Recognize unneeded words and revise sentences to be more concise.
It is easy to permit your sentences become chaotic with words that do not add value to what you are trying to say. You tin manage cluttered sentences past eliminating repetitive ideas, removing repeated words, and rewording to eliminate unneeded words.
Eliminating Repetitive Ideas
Unless you are providing definitions on purpose, stating 1 idea in two ways within a unmarried sentence is redundant and not necessary. Read each example and think about how you lot could revise the judgement to remove repetitive phrasing that adds wordiness. So written report the suggested revision beneath each example.
Examples
Original: Utilize a very heavy skillet made of cast iron to bake an extra juicy meatloaf.
Revision: Utilize a cast fe skillet to bake a very juicy meatloaf.
Original: Joe thought to himself, "I think I'll brand caramelized grilled salmon tonight."
Revision: Joe idea, "I think I'll brand caramelized grilled salmon tonight."
Removing Repeated Words
As a general rule, you should try not to echo a word within a sentence. Sometimes you just need to choose a different discussion. But often you can actually remove repeated words. Read this case and retrieve about how you lot could revise the sentence to remove a repeated discussion that adds wordiness. Then check out the revision below the sentence.
Example
Original: The student who won the cooking competition is a very talented and ambitious educatee.
Revision: The student who won the cooking contest is very talented and aggressive.
Rewording to Eliminate Unneeded Words
If a judgement has words that are not necessary to carry the meaning, those words are unneeded and can be removed to reduce wordiness. Read each example and think almost how y'all could revise the sentence to remove phrasing that adds wordiness. And so check out the suggested revisions to each judgement.
Examples
Original: Andy has the ability to make the most fabulous twice-broiled potatoes.
Revision: Andy makes the most fabled twice-baked potatoes.
Original: For his part in the cooking class group projection, Malik was responsible for making the mustard reduction sauce.
Revision: Malik made the mustard reduction sauce for his cooking form grouping projection.
Key Takeaways
- Country ideas just in one case within a single sentence, as opposed to repeating a key thought in an try to clarify.
- Avoid unnecessarily repeating words within a sentence.
- Write concisely by eliminating unneeded words.
Exercise
-
Rewrite the following sentences by eliminating unneeded words.
- I was belatedly because of the fact that I could not go out the business firm until such time as my mother was gear up to become.
- I used a pair of hot pads to remove the hot dishes from the oven.
- The bus arrived at seven:40 a.m., I got on the passenger vehicle at 7:41 a.grand., and I was getting off the coach past vii:49 a.grand.
- The surface of the make clean drinking glass sparkled.
17.2 Using Appropriate Language
Learning Objectives
- Be aware that some words are ordinarily dislocated with each other.
- Recognize and use appropriate words, taking intendance to avert jargon or slang.
- Write in a straightforward manner and with the advisable level of formality.
As a author, you lot do not desire inappropriate give-and-take choice to get in the fashion of your message. For this reason, you demand to strive to use language that is accurate and appropriate for the writing state of affairs. Learn for yourself which words you tend to confuse with each other. Omit jargonVocabulary of a special group or profession. (technical words and phrases mutual to a specific profession or field of study) and slangPlayful, informal vocabulary, often recently invented and specific to a certain group. (invented words and phrases specific to a certain group of people), unless your audition and purpose phone call for such language. Avoid using outdated words and phrases, such every bit "dial the number." Be straightforward in your writing rather than using euphemismsCommutation with a gentler way of expressing something. (a gentler, only sometimes inaccurate, way of saying something). Be clear virtually the level of formality needed for each different slice of writing and adhere to that level.
Focusing on Hands Dislocated Words
Words in homophone sets are often mistaken for each other. (See Chapter xix "Mechanics", Section xix.one.3 "Homophones" for more nigh homophones.) Tabular array 17.ane "Unremarkably Confused Words" presents some examples of commonly confused words other than homophones. You will notice that some of the words in the tabular array have like sounds that atomic number 82 to their defoliation. Other words in the table are confused due to similar meanings. Go on your personal list handy equally you find pairings of words that requite you trouble.
Table 17.1 Commonly Confused Words
affect | effect | good | well | |
all ready | already | lay | lie | |
innuendo | illusion | exit | let | |
amid | between | ordinance | ordnance | |
are | our | precede | continue | |
award | reward | repose | quite | |
breath | exhale | quote | quotation | |
can | may | sit | set | |
conscience | witting | statue | statute | |
desert | dessert | that | which | |
emigrate | emigrate | through | thorough | |
particularly | specially | who | whom | |
explicit | implicit |
Writing without Jargon or Slang
Jargon and slang both have their places. Using jargon is fine as long every bit you can safely assume your readers likewise know the jargon. For case, if you are a lawyer, and you are writing to others in the legal profession, using legal jargon is perfectly fine. On the other hand, if y'all are writing for people outside the legal profession, using legal jargon would well-nigh likely be confusing, and you should avoid it. Of course, lawyers must use legal jargon in papers they prepare for customers. Still, those papers are designed to navigate within the legal system.
You are, of course, free to use slang within your personal life, but unless yous happen to be writing a sociolinguistic study of slang itself, it actually has no place in bookish writing. Even if y'all are writing somewhat coincidental responses in an online word for a class, you should avert using slang or other forms of abbreviated communication common to IM (instant messaging) and texting.
Choosing to Be Straightforward
Some writers cull to control meaning with flowery or pretentious language, euphemisms, and double-talkTalk that includes extra verbiage in an effort to cover-up the message. . All these choices obscure directly advice and therefore have no place in academic writing. Study the post-obit three examples that clarify each of these misdirection techniques.
Technique | Example | Misdirection Involved | Straightforward Culling |
---|---|---|---|
Flowery or pretentious language | Your delightful invitation arrived completely out of the blue, and I would absolutely dear to nourish such a meaning and important event, but nosotros already have a commitment. | The speaker seems to be trying very hard to relay serious regrets for having to refuse an invitation. Just the overkill makes information technology sound insincere. | We are really sorry, but we have a prior commitment. I promise yous take a great event. |
Euphemisms | My male parent is follicly challenged. | The speaker wants to talk near his or her father'due south lack of pilus without having to utilise the give-and-take "baldheaded." | My father is bald. |
Double-talk | I was unavoidably detained from arriving to the evening meeting on fourth dimension considering I became preoccupied with i of my colleagues after the close of the work twenty-four hour period. | The speaker was decorated with a colleague after work and is trying to explain existence tardy for an evening coming together. | I'm sorry to be belatedly to the meeting. Work ran later than usual. |
Presenting an Appropriate Level of Formality
Look at the following iii sentences. They all three carry roughly the same meaning. Which i is the all-time way to write the sentence?
- The doctor said, "A total eight hours of piece of work is going to be too much for this patient to handle for at least the adjacent two weeks."
- The dr. said I couldn't work total days for the next 2 weeks.
- my md said 8 hrs of wrk R 2M2H for the side by side 2 wks.
If you said, "It depends," you are correct! Each version is appropriate in certain situations. Every writing situation requires you to make a judgment regarding the level of formality you desire to apply. Base your conclusion on a combination of the discipline affair, the audience, and your purpose for writing. For case, if you are sending a text message to a friend about going bowling, the formality shown in instance three is fine. If, on the other hand, you are sending a text message to that same friend near the death of a common friend, you would logically move up the formality of your tone at to the lowest degree to the level of example two.
Key Takeaways
- Some words are confused because they sound alike, look alike, or both. Others are confused based on similar meanings.
- Confine use of jargon to situations where your audience recognizes it.
- Utilize slang and unofficial words only in your breezy, personal writing.
- Write in a straightforward way without using euphemisms or flowery language to disguise what yous are saying.
- Make certain you examine the field of study matter, audience, and purpose to determine whether a piece of writing should be informal, somewhat casual, or formal.
Exercises
- Choose five of the commonly dislocated words from Table 17.i "Unremarkably Dislocated Words" that are sometimes problems for you. Write a definition for each word and use each word in a sentence.
- Start a computer file of words that are a problem for you. For each word, write a definition and a judgement. Add to the file whenever y'all come beyond another give-and-take that is disruptive for you. Apply the file for a quick reference when you are writing.
- List 5 examples of jargon from a field of your choice. Then list ii situations in which you could apply the jargon and ii situations in which you should not utilise the jargon.
- Work with a small grouping. Make a list of at least 50 slang words or phrases. For each discussion or phrase, indicate where, equally a college student, you lot could properly use the slang. Share your final project with the class.
- Work with a partner. Write five sentences that include euphemisms or flowery language. And then merchandise papers and rewrite your partner's sentences using straightforward linguistic communication.
- Make a list of v situations where you should use very formal writing and five situations where more casual or fifty-fifty very informal writing would be acceptable.
17.three Choosing Precise Wording
Learning Objectives
- Empathise connotations of words and choose words with connotations that piece of work best for your purposes.
- Comprise specific and concrete words equally well as figurative language into your writing.
- Recognize and avert clichés and improperly used words.
Past using precise diction, yous tin can nearly accurately relay your thoughts. Some strategies that can assist yous put your thoughts into words include focusing on denotations and connotations, balancing specific and concrete words with occasionally figurative language, and existence on guard against clichés and misused words.
Focusing on Both Denotations and Connotations
Consider that the words "laid-dorsum" and "lackadaisical" both mean "unhurried and slow-moving." If someone said yous were a "laid-back" student, you would likely exist only fine with that comment, simply if someone said you were a "lackadaisical" student, you might not like the connotationThe emotional sense of a give-and-take; the various means in which information technology tin can be received by a listener or reader. . Nouns, verbs, adjectives, and adverbs all take both denotationsThe definition of a word. and connotations. The denotation is the definition of a give-and-take. The connotation is the emotional sense of a word. For example, look at these three words:
- excited
- agitated
- flustered
The three words all mean to exist stirred emotionally. In fact, y'all might see one of the words as a definition of another one of them. And you would definitely encounter the three words in a common listing in a thesaurus. And then the denotations for the three words are about the same. But the connotations are quite different. The give-and-take "excited" often has a positive, fun underlying pregnant; "agitated" carries a sense of being upset; and "flustered" suggests a person is somewhat out of control. When you are choosing a discussion to use, you lot should showtime call up of a word based on its denotation. And then y'all should consider if the connotation fits your intent. For more on using a dictionary or thesaurus to heighten and add together precision to your word choices, come across Section 17.4 "Using the Dictionary and Thesaurus Effectively".
Choosing Specific and Physical Words
You will always give clearer information if you write with specific wordsA detail within a category (e.k., true cat inside the category animals). rather than general wordsA category (e.g., animals). . Look at the following example and think most how you could reword information technology using specific terms. Then check out the following revision to see 1 possible option.
Examples
Original: The animals got out and ruined the garden produce.
Revision: The horses got out and ruined the tomatoes and cucumbers.
Another way to make your writing clearer and more than interesting is to utilize concrete wordsA discussion that evokes a physical sense such as sense of taste, smell, hearing, sight, or touch. rather than abstract wordsA word that does not take physical properties. . Abstract words exercise not have physical properties. But concrete words evoke senses of taste, smell, hearing, sight, and bear upon. For example, yous could say, "My shoe feels odd." This statement does non give a sense of why your shoe feels odd since odd is an abstruse word that doesn't suggest any physical characteristics. Or you could say, "My shoe feels wet." This statement gives you a sense of how your shoe feels to the touch. It also gives a sense of how your shoe might look likewise as how information technology might smell. Look at the following case and recall about how you could reword it using concrete words. Then cheque out the following revision to see one possible selection.
Examples
Original: The horses got out and ruined the tomatoes and cucumbers.
Revision: The horses stampeded out and squished and squirted the tomatoes and cucumbers.
Study this table for some additional examples of words that provide clarity to writing.
General Words | Specific Words |
---|---|
children | Tess and Abby |
animals | dogs |
food | cheeseburger and a salad |
Abstract Words | Concrete Words |
---|---|
noise | clanging and squealing |
success | a chore I like and plenty coin to alive comfortably |
civility | treating others with respect |
Enhancing Writing with Figurative Language
Figurative linguistic communicationA writing tool that plays on the senses, creates special furnishings, or both. is a full general term that includes writing tools such every bit ingeminationRepetition of unmarried letters or sets of letters. , analogiesThe comparing of familiar and unfamiliar ideas or items by showing a feature they take in common. , hyperboleA greatly exaggerated point. , idiomsA group of words that carries a meaning other than the actual meanings of the words. , metaphorsAn overall comparing of two ideas or items by stating that one is the other. , onomatopoeiaA single word that sounds like the idea information technology is describing. , personificationAttributing human characteristics to nonhuman things. , and similesUsing the discussion "like" or "as" to indicate that one item or idea resembles another. . By using figurative language, y'all can make your writing both more than interesting and easier to sympathize.
Figurative Linguistic communication
Alliteration: Repetition of single messages or sets of letters.
Consequence: Gives a poetic, flowing sound to words.
Example: Dana danced dain the drive daintily.
Analogy: The comparison of familiar and unfamiliar ideas or items past showing a feature they have in common.
Result: Makes an unfamiliar idea or item easier to sympathize.
Example: Writing a book is like raising a toddler. It takes all your time and attention, but you'll enjoy every minute of it!
Hyperbole: A profoundly exaggerated point.
Effect: Emphasizes the point.
Example: I must have written a thousand pages this weekend.
Idiom: A group of words that carries a meaning other than the actual meanings of the words.
Issue: A colorful way to send a message.
Example: I recall this assignment will exist a slice of cake.
Metaphor: An overall comparison of 2 ideas or items by stating that one is the other.
Event: Adds the connotations of one compared idea to the other compared idea.
Instance: This shirt is a rag.
Onomatopoeia: A single word that sounds like the thought information technology is describing.
Outcome: A colorful way to depict an thought while adding a sense of audio.
Example: The jazz band was known for its wailing horns and clattering drums.
Personification: Attributing homo characteristics to nonhuman things.
Effect: Adds depth such as humor, drama, or involvement.
Example: The spatula told me that the grill was merely a piffling besides hot today.
Simile: Using the word "like" or "as" to indicate that 1 particular or idea resembles some other.
Effect: A colorful way to explain an item or idea.
Example: Hanging out with you is like eating watermelon on a summer day.
Using Clichés Sparingly
ClichésA phrase that was once an original and interesting creation only that became so often used that information technology has ceased to be interesting and is now viewed as overworked. are phrases that were once original and interesting creations but that became and then ofttimes used that they accept ceased to be interesting and are now viewed every bit overworked. If you accept a tendency to apply a cliché or see one while you are proofreading, supervene upon it with apparently language instead.
Instance
I'grand loose as a goose today.
Replace cliché: I'm very relaxed today.
Table 17.2 A Few Common Clichés
equally fresh as a daisy | as slow as molasses | as white as snow |
beat around the bush | beingness led down the primrose path | big equally life |
bottomless pit | busy equally a bee | can't encounter the forest for the trees |
bit off the onetime cake | expressionless of wintertime | clay cheap |
don't upset the apple cart | down to earth | flat equally a pancake |
for everything there is a season | from feast to dearth | go with the flow |
gone to pot | green with envy | growing like a weed |
sky on earth | here'south mud in your center | in a nutshell |
in the doghouse | merely a drib in the bucket | knock on wood |
lite as a plume | similar a duck out of water | made in the shade |
muddy the water | naked as a jaybird | nutty as a fruitcake |
old as dirt | our neck of the woods | plain as the nose on your confront |
raking in the dough | sick equally a dog | stick in the mud |
stubborn as a mule | sweet every bit apple pie | thorn in my side |
two peas in a pod | under the weather | walks on h2o |
water nether the bridge | when pigs fly |
Guarding against Misusing Words
If you are uncertain about the meaning of a word, wait the word up before you lot use information technology. Also, if your spellchecker identifies a misspelled word, don't automatically accept the suggested replacement word. Make an informed decision about each word you utilise.
Expect at the Figure 17.1.
Figure 17.1
Equipment and memories can be photographic, simply to wait good in pictures is to be photogenic. To catch an error of this nature, you clearly have to realize the word in question is a problem. The truth is, your best take a chance at knowing how a wide range of words should be used is to read widely and ofttimes and to pay attending to words as you lot read.
Key Takeaways
- Words have both denotations and connotations, and y'all need to focus on both of these meanings when you lot choose your words.
- Specific words, such as "fork" or "spoon" instead of "silverware," and physical words, such as a "piercing siren" instead of a "loud sound," create more than interesting writing.
- Figurative linguistic communication, including alliteration, analogies, hyperbole, idioms metaphors, onomatopoeia, personification, and similes, helps make text more interesting and meaningful.
- Both clichés and improperly used words detract from your writing. Reword clichés using straightforward language. Eliminate improperly used words by researching words about which you are not certain.
Exercises
-
Fill in the blank in this judgement with a give-and-take that carries a connotation suggesting Kelly was still full of energy after her 20 laps:
Kelly ____ out of the pool at the finish of her twenty laps.
-
Identify the general word used in this judgement and replace it with a specific word:
I put my clothes somewhere and can't discover them.
-
Identify the abstract word used in this sentence and replace it with a concrete word:
I smelled something stiff when I opened the fridge door.
-
Identify the platitude used in the following sentence and rewrite the judgement using straightforward language:
Nosotros should exist upwards and running by 10 o'clock tomorrow morning.
-
Identify the misused give-and-take in the following sentence and replace information technology with a right discussion:
I'd rather walk so accept to wait an hr for the bus.
- Write a sentence using i of the types of figurative linguistic communication presented in Section 17.3.3 "Enhancing Writing with Figurative Language".
- Over the course of a week, record any instances of clichés or trite, overused expressions you hear in conversations with friends, coworkers, or family unit; in music, magazines, or newspapers; on television, moving picture, or the Cyberspace; or in your own linguistic communication. Share your listing with members of your grouping or the form as a whole.
17.four Using the Dictionary and Thesaurus Effectively
Learning Objectives
- Sympathize the information available in a lexicon entry.
- Understand the benefits and potential pitfalls of a thesaurus.
- Utilise dictionaries and thesauruses as writing tools.
Dictionaries and thesauruses provide writing assistance for writers of all levels of feel and power. Think of them as tools that volition assist y'all to do your very all-time writing. A lexicon can help you make up one's mind the precise denotations of words, while a thesaurus, used responsibly, tin can assistance you to capture subtle differences in the connotations of words.
Using Dictionaries
Technology is changing the face of dictionaries. A brusque twenty or xxx years ago, a good graduation gift for a higher-bound student was a hardcover lexicon. Today very few college students even own 1 considering online dictionaries are so readily available. Using an online dictionary, you lot tin look upwardly a word in the time it takes to type it, every bit opposed to taking the fourth dimension to flip pages and scan through a page of words in a print lexicon. On the other hand, a difficult-copy dictionary is still a bang-up backup if you're unable to get online, and information technology can lead to some surprising discoveries of other words on the same folio, simply equally browsing through a shelf of library books can put you lot in contact with books you might non have otherwise encountered.
The of import consequence is that you utilise a dictionary of some kind and that you lot understand what it can provide for y'all. Whether you employ a impress or online dictionary, the entries offering a wealth of information. Effigy 17.2 includes some of the most common dictionary entry components. Post-obit the list is a colour-coded entry for "elementary" (from Lexicon.com, based on the Random Firm Unabridged Dictionary) showing where various parts of the entry can be found:
Figure 17.two
Figure 17.3
Using a Thesaurus Effectively
Like dictionaries, thesauruses are bachelor in both print and online media. And as with dictionaries, the convenience of modern applied science dictates that online thesauruses are the preferred choice of near higher students these days. One warning about thesauruses: they can be overused or used out of context. You might be tempted to use a "fancier" synonymA word with a meaning like to another discussion. or antithesisA word with the opposite meaning of another give-and-take. for a give-and-take when a simple and straight approach might be best.
Whether you lot use an online or hard-re-create thesaurus, yous volition encounter the following features.
Figure 17.iv
Figure 17.5 shows four color-coded entries for the discussion "walk" (out of 50) at Thesaurus.com (based on Roget's Thesaurus).
Figure 17.v
Key Takeaways
- Dictionary entries include much information in addition to the correct spelling of the words.
- Thesauruses provide synonyms and antonyms for different parts of speech and dissimilar meanings of an identified word and for words related to the identified word.
- Dictionaries and thesauruses (when used judiciously) are helpful tools for all writers.
Exercises
-
Employ a dictionary to respond these questions:
- What is the origin of the discussion "margin"?
- How many different definitions does your lexicon have for the word "best"?
- What, if any, related forms of the discussion "field of study" are provided in your lexicon?
- What parts of speech are listed in your dictionary for "close"?
- What, if any, mutual usage situations are given in your dictionary for the give-and-take "scale"?
-
Utilise a thesaurus to write five versions of the following judgement that hateful roughly the aforementioned matter. Alter at least two words in each version:
Hannah considered accepting a job with Bellefor Inc. but decided against information technology.
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